Who am I?

Who am I?

This question plagued me throughout my entire childhood. I would often stand in front of the mirror and look at myself. After some time, I would laugh a bit, at my own reflection. Then I would question my inner self, “Who am I?” Needless to say, I did not get an answer. As I grew up, the inquisitiveness died out.

But then one day after a heavy bout of alcoholism, I realized (yes alcohol tends to make either fighters or philosophers out of us. I thank god I chose the second)-

I am the universe’s remnants crammed up into decades worth of bad experiences; I am an extension of every star there is. I am the result of more than a million years of evolution, which maybe went a bit southwards. I am the product of all my achievements divided by the sum of my failures.

I am the introvert who doesn’t wish to come out of home; I am the loner who thinks everything in the world can be achieved from the comfort of one’s bed. I am the one who wouldn’t mind talking for hours to the person having the exact same mental wavelength and pattern of thinking as mine. I am the confidant that everyone trusts, I am the one who sometimes thinks of betraying a few of them.

I am the rebel who judges silently. I am the optimist who thinks everything will be alright. I am the one who sometimes resorts to pessimism, seeing the state of the world that we’re in.

I am the lover who wishes to love someone, unconditionally. I am life touched by the hopelessness of death, but still wishes to keep on living; not just for the sake of it, but to see the good things lurking around the corner.

I am infinity divided by infinity.

© Biswadeep

Image courtesy- https://www.selfishgiving.com/blog/real-man-behind-success-ice-bucket-challenge

 

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