I seldom converse with a girl face to face, let alone on Facebook. But I’ve my friends and moments and today was one of the lucky days. We spoke our hearts out; not allowing petty distance to complicate things. After coursing through an umpteen number of topics we decided to pause on a topic so very habitual amongst hormonal teens like us, ‘heartbreak’.
Me: I know the pain associated…
She: Tell me about it, I met a guy on Facebook couple of years back, I loved him unconditionally; pity he only had a crush on me.
Me: Wait! He only had an infatuation towards you?
She: He had someone, someone I envy still today…You know what’s worse?
She pauses, taking her time. Ironically she answers before I could type ‘what?’
She: The fact that we are still good friends and seldom I look up to him for advice.
I think. Reflect and ponder on what to say next; figured I may as well share my woes with her.
I’ve had my fair share of pain as well, dated a depression patient; was never able to show or give her a reason not to cut her wrists. She said it helped lessen her pain inside. I couldn’t agree more. I typed a sad smiley followed by a crying one to help invoke a feeling of empathy.
She: I was molested by my cousin; recently some people tried to rape me on a moving bus. I know what depression is like. But sooner I figured it was not use being like this, I decided to change, for the better. Being depressed doesn’t gain you anything. If you’re depressed you already are a loser.
Me: Albeit I tried my best, but she would not listen.
She: Only people who’ve been in her shoes would be able to convince her, they won’t listen to anybody else.
It would be wrong on my part to say that the last statement of hers was lucrative and enticing enough to get me thinking, ‘If I could persuade her to convince my lost love. Only if…’
She: Friends are judgmental; their charade coupled with the façade they wear is nauseating.
Me: But true lovers are not…
Before leaving she iterated, “I am fortunate these events happened with me, they made me stronger, made me care for myself more than ever. Love is nothing but an illusion, a false pretext to make you think the world is a better place, but sadly it will always be an illusion for the likes of us”. I could see my old lover in her; after all they both have been through a lot. I was having a déjà-vu; it was as if I’ve heard the exact same story few months back from the lips of the girl whom I dearly loved and still do.
Before adieu, I asked her,
“Can I write a flash fiction on our conversation? I want the world to know your story…”
“Sure, but don’t use my real name!” she retorted with a wink smiley.
“Oh come on! I’m not that dumb!” I said desperately. She sent me a smiley, the simplest one. Sometimes an emoticon can convey an ocean which plain words cannot.
“God bless Facebook!” I exclaimed before logging off.
©Biswadeep Ghosh Hazra