“So, Biswadeep, tell me about yourself”, the man across the table enquired all the while going through my resume, looking a bit uninterested. My whole life flashed before my very eyes, and unsurprisingly my deeds of mischief glared more than the rest, like a lighthouse shining through the dead fog of night. Slowly, alphabets coalesced to form meaningful words and words fused into tangible sentences...
No human life is without pain and suffering, everyone, no matter how rich they are, how happy they are, how satisfied they are, have at one point or the other, experienced sorrow. Life is a mix of highs and lows but sometimes it feels like the lows overpower the highs. I have felt this more often than not and have either blamed god or my bad luck for it. Today a realization dawned upon me, we don’t nearly thank god or our good luck when things do go our way, as much as we blame them when they don’t.
Needless to say, I too am no exception to this rule. When I was in class eleven or twelve, I don’t remember now, my grandmother was diagnosed with stage two breast cancer. It was as if the roof had shattered over our heads. I was devastated. I blamed God, luck, myself and anything and everything I could think of. My mother, who is nothing short of a superhero, singlehandedly saved my grandmother (her mother) by taking her to regular chemotherapy and radiotherapy sessions and adhering to the timely delivery of medicines to my ailing grandmother. My mother’s routine was impeccable, almost like a robot working tirelessly towards achieving that one single goal.
This promise led me to explore the deep crevices of my locality and today I stumbled upon the alleyways of nostalgia. The fragrance transported me to a time when I was a naive young boy and much like how I stumbled upon this road today, I had stumbled upon love.
A speeding car reminds me of perspective and I start pushing my cart at a slightly higher pace. But I could never reach that speed, even if I lighten my wobbly four wheeler of the love that I was selling, of the love that was already stale. Blame the rain.
I blame destiny for bringing us together, I blame fate for making our paths cross, I blame providence for it did not keep me ready with any contingency plan. You left me, I had no other choice but to forget your existence and time is a great ally to have in times like these. I was flanked from all sides by you, not by any of your skills or good looks or anything that people get attracted to you by. I was flanked by the whole of ‘you’; caught off guard.